Core Values vs. Principles

I apply my principles and ethics when making choices, many times a day: Is this image licensed for my use? What tone should I adopt with my colleagues, my husband, that troll? Prioritise rest today, so my clients get my best energy tomorrow. When I screw up: apologise, don’t make excuses.

Core Values add another dimension. They move me beyond the moment of decision, framing my choices in the context of what I love: is hunting for a graphic a good use of my energy? What do I need to say (or not say) right now, given what’s important? And which way of communicating it honors the relationship, and is congruent with who I am and what I profess? Why did I screw up, and what do I need to address to make life smoother? How is replying to this troll a step toward my mission in life? Values invite deeper, more powerful questions, and enrich the process of making our yes-no choices.

I first encountered Core Values in Co-Active coach training, and used them soon after, when deciding whether to also study coaching at Newfield Network in parallel. It would mean even less time for paying clients, a heavy workload, another big expense, travel … in short, all kinds of disruption, and I was already in a coaching program! So I sat on my hotel bed and worked with index cards until I had a short, resonant list. Then, looking again at my dilemma, I decided in short order that the timing was right, and the sacrifices were valuable to support my dreams. The next day I registered for the Newfield CEO program. Having confidently made this choice, it was easy to make the next one: I took a loan against my mortgage, so my mind would be at rest, free to learn and grow. I’ve never regretted that year: what joy my new profession has brought to me and to others!

Core Values as Trusted Advisor

My personal metaphor for applying my values is more kinesthetic than linguistic: I envision a path forward, toward a world where people are joyful in being authentic, creative and richly human. Faced with an opportunity or distraction, I ask “is this action firmly on My Path?” If my gut says Yes, the choice moves forward: given what I care about, is now the right time? But my gut says No, or “it’s complicated” I need to ask more questions. Why am I attracted to this? Is it time to take a risk? Or am I self-sabotaging somehow? Instead of getting tied in a knot I can get curious, confident that my values will keep me on track.

Knowing my core values has drastically reduced my stress levels, and made possible unimagined possibilities: a career switch, a sudden marriage! and leaving my home country with confidence. I’ll be writing more on my values and how I discovered them in the new year.

(Re-) Discover Your Core Values

What do you love? Traditionally, many people use the darkest days of winter to quietly reflect and set new intentions for the coming year. The values exercises you find online may be focused on your job, or your relationships… but I strongly believe (as a Co-Active coach) that there’s only one you, and all these aspects belong together. Values may express themselves differently at work and at home, but the same set of deeply held values are present everywhere you are, and trying to live with different sets of values in different situations may actually add to your stress.

If you’d like to experiment with Core Values, I have two self-coaching tools you might like to try: one short and unstructured, and the other longer and more profound (I love it!).

The short exercise is found in my downloadable e-book, You Can Design a Bigger Game. It is in English and German.

The instructions for my downloadable Values card-sorting exercise are also on my website.  Set aside 90 minutes for this, in one or two sessions.

In either case, if you get stuck (it happens) just take a break and come back to it. And here’s a tip: many people have a value like “family” or “health” but make it *your* flavour: add an adjective, or use a metaphor to make it reflect your heart. Is your dream family a “healthy family” or “Simpsons family” or “Mad Circus” or “a beautiful garden”? Don’t second guess yourself – when something weird comes along, embrace it and see where it leads you!

Life Coaching Can Help – My Holiday Offer

Know this: you’re looking for the essence of what makes you *you*. You’ll know when you find it: you’ll be both peaceful and excited!

If it still feels incomplete, though, I offer you a 30-minute consultation to deepen your work and make it more resonant, more vibrant. If you’ve never had a one-one-one session with me, this one’s on me, otherwise I’ll bill you based on my normal hourly fee of 250€.

Just book it online at http://abiggergame.today/calendar . Then send me your results so far – photos may help, if you did the longer exercise.
I’ll return to work on January 10, and you can book it now so you don’t forget. Should plans change, you can reschedule it easily until the day before.

Alternately, you can do the whole 90-minute exercise online with me, one-to-one – I’m really good at that, and  I’ll only charge you for one hour. This is a good option if (like me) you tend to procrastinate on solo activities. :-p

Make a List and Check It Often!

Whether you complete it alone, or with help from me or another coach, I encourage you to make your results visible in your physical space: as a collage, a list, a series of postits. Mine hang beside my desk, and I’ll show you those in the coming weeks.

I wish you joy as you discover how to let your Core Values gently guide you toward what you want in life.

Happy New Year!
Deb